Tales From The Saturday Night Launderette CD
Perfect Couple
Boring Boy
The Shoppers Theme
Deathbed
Ellie
Queenspark
4pm Alarm
The Shoppers Theme (slight return)
The Saturday Night Launderette

Perfect Couple
When I first met you
you seemed like the perfect couple
there were no unsightly cracks in the fabric of your life

But it seems that we know better now (and I guess we know why)
and it seems you were no better than the rest of us (no matter how hard you tried)
just another band of gold with its own layer of rust

CHORUS:
but isn't that the way it always goes?
like suburban houses in columns and rows

all you see are the well trimmed hedges
all you see are the well kept lawns
all you see are immaculate front doors
and polished cars

but then that's fair enough I guess
you didn't want anyone to see you at less than your best

When I first met you
You seemed to have the whole thing sussed out
seemed you knew all the answers we thought we'd been looking for

But I guess the truth was bland and stark (guess that we know why)
because there's nothing very special(and there's nothing very nice)
and there's nothing very special
about another couple groping in the dark

CHORUS:

But tear down the well trimmed hedges
tear aside the well kept lawns
tear down the immaculate front door
and what is left?

Boring Boy
Eyes wide shut, you're in a world of your own
as you rattle off another dirge about some ex-girlfriend
well excuse me if my 'kerchief is unsullied by tears
but what you're singing means nothing to me
what you're singing means nothing to me

Because you're a
Boring boy with a guitar
I don't wanna be
a boring boy with a guitar
and I don't want to sell my problems just to sell records
I'd like to think I wouldn't stoop that low

You've been hurt more times than you care to remember
and you don't care to remember 'cos the hurts still there
you're all venom, and hate
and spite, and bile
you could pull it off if only you had the style

but you haven't - you're a
Boring boy with a guitar
I don't wanna be
a boring boy with a guitar
and I don't want to sell my problems just to sell records
I'd like to think I wouldn't stoop that low
but you never know, if the price was right
maybe I might become

another boring boy with a guitar
I'll become another boring boy with a guitar
and now you'll find me making up problems
so I can make records
It's weird to think that I've stooped this low but then -
everyone has their price, and here's mine -
the highest bidder can take all

The Shopper's Theme
I thought I'd reached the relative safety of the shops
and now a new brand of danger threatens to overcome
Stuck between the aisles of lost garments, lost souls
forgotten dreams, forgotten chequebooks, abandoned goals
but should I double think or dare to lose my space
or step between the aisles that make up this space
floor tiles will rise and consume me now I'm sure
just like I've been consumed a hundred thousand million times before
but I like the pretty colours, they make me want to spend
turn my minds eye away from all the ways I could meet with my end
I need that fix

Deathbed
I never thought it would end like this, said her husband
I thought I was good for a few more years
of course its you that I'm concerned for
as being left alone was always one of your biggest fears

and now it looks like my favourite curtains hang tattered and torn
so I guess the end is near
but you know I've always loved you
I've always held you very dear
I'll miss you more than life itself
I'll miss you more than life itself (will you miss me?)
I'll miss you more than life itself

I'm told there's not much to miss at our time of life anyway
patronised by care assistants, almost run down in the street
queuing up for own-brand products, queuing up for a weekly pittance

and keeping half an eye on the obituary page

and now it looks like my favourite armchair has sprung its final spring
so I guess the end is near
but you know I've always loved you
I've always held you very dear
I'll miss you more than life itself
I'll miss you more than life itself (will you miss me?)
I'll miss you more than life itself

Now I hold onto you tight, like a child in the night
but you and I both know that soon I'll be lost along the way

and now it looks like my favourite smoking pipe is down to its last puff
so I guess the end is near
but you know I've always loved you
I've always held you very dear
I'll miss you more than life itself
I'll miss you more than life itself (will you miss me?)
I'll miss you more than life itself

and now it looks like my favourite record is battered, scratched and worn
and I hope I'll be born again
Its been a good life, all in all
and its partly thanks to you
so hold me and please don't let me go
just hold me and please don't let me go (it won't be long)
just hold me and please don't let me go

Ellie
Ellie is withering under her gaze
trying to stop the tears coming out
she's past the tantrums and past the pouts now

she says "they won't come down so hard on you,
after all this is only your first time -
have to make sure it's also the first time"

"So take this tissue and dry your eyes
ther's no shame or weakness there
now doesn't that feel a whole lot better?"

A striplight flickers and zaps a poor fly
the world seems so big and unfriendly
tiny details seem as frightened as her

"You can say what you like to me
just tell me the truth I won't mind" she says, convincingly

Ellie says "the problem that I've always had,
is that I can't seem to look after myself
I can't seem to look after myself, and no-one else seems to have the time"

Queenspark
Are you awake as well?
I couldn't sleep either
But I don't want to go back to bed
for we are dying
but also, I don't want to see your face right now
because you remind me of how much I want us to live
you remind me of how much I want us to live

And no-one knows we're awake
so this can seem like bonus time
there'll be no more running in puddles
or kissing in the rain
We'll never have those days again

4pm Alarm
Ever so frightened, ever so watchful
wondering if anything
was put there by someone who knew what they were doing
who wore their problems
on their waist
instead of round their shoulders
who never once at the clock and thought - 4pm, maybe tommorrow

But you seem so certain, and you seem so strong
and you can carry me, I don't mind
Don't wanna know about the chinks in youir armour
I want you to be busy tending mine

And I will care for you
and it might even be real
but its caring for you
so you can care for me
besieged by your problems, you'll care inefficiently

The Shoppers Theme (slight return)
My walk to the shops is fraught with danger
people closing in from every angle
wanting to see what I have or haven't bought them
well I haven't bought them anything 'cos I've got no money
so I just press my nose up against shop windows
hoping that a hand-me-down might pass my way
but it doesn't so I get myself off home sharpish
and vow to return when I next get paid

The Saturday Night Launderette
The Saturday Night Launderette
the one place that I'll never forget
other people are partying, smiling, having fun
I sit here in my grey rainbow until my task is done

Sitting here at night with social residue
the dregs of humanity with nothing else to do
some are doing crosswords, reading papers, twiddling thumbs
I sit here in my grey rainbow until my task is done

The launderette at night on Saturday
the clothes are whiter than white but the wearers are grey
like all the married couples that mill around here
I feel my social life is stuck in first gear